Dear Belittler,

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt

To anyone who ever made me feel small, 

                First I want to say, I forgive you.

I forgive you for every critical remark and disapproving expression that let me know I was being judged without your complete understanding of my situation. 

Conversations like…

“So where do you go to school?”

I’m taking some time off for my health.

“…oh.” 

Your reactions made me feel unworthy, weak, dirty, less than, and like a failure. Nobody gave you that power.

I could have lied. 

Or I could have been blatantly honest and explained that I had to withdraw from my freshman year of college because I was seventy five pounds sick and suicidal. Laying in bed each night with my heart palpitating out of my chest, praying to God that I’d just fall asleep. Praying even harder that I just wouldn’t wake up.

Maybe then you would have reacted differently. Maybe not. But to be honest, I didn’t know how to explain myself and I shouldn’t have had to. 

I’m different. I live a life that falls outside of society’s narrow-minded standards of ‘How Things Should Be Done’. 

It has taken me years to learn that the struggles I've faced aren't my fault and there's no way I'm going to let you or anyone else make me feel otherwise. 

I didn't ask to be sick, trust me. But I wouldn't exchange my beautiful mess for any cookie cutter convention because I’ve learned more about life by fighting for mine than I could ever hope to learn in a classroom. 

And I will not apologize. Not anymore. 

I’m writing this letter because I know there are others like me who live outside the status quo. When you meet them, I ask that you treat them with more kindness, respect, and grace than you did me. 

I have a hunch that you’ve made your fair share of mistakes. Because pitfalls are part of the human experience. 

Treat everyone with kindness. Greet all without judgment. We are all doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt and we should never have to apologize for that. 

With love,

Ren